How Jesus changed my Life

It’s possible to have a conversion experience and yet hold back from the full surrender that leads to being born again, and this is what happened with me. In my teens I left atheism behind and found God, but I didn’t want to get too involved! I was young and wanted to have fun, and I had the daft idea that becoming a proper Christian would involve giving up lipstick, high heels, mini-skirts and boyfriends! I was aware that God was calling me, but I kept ignoring him. ‘I’m not ready yet,’ I would say.

After my stepdad died, I started to feel ill and frightened every time I left the house. I would be gripped by fear on buses, and waiting in a shop queue was torture. My heart would race, I would struggle to breathe, I would feel faint and wobbly on my legs, and I was sure I was dying. I would leave my shopping behind and run out of the door. I felt terrified even in my own home, and all I wanted to do was hide in a corner until the fear went. The trouble was, it never really went. I was suffering from both agoraphobia and claustrophobia.

A Christian friend invited me to a healing crusade. I said I just couldn’t face it. The thought of being stuck in a church, surrounded by hundreds of people, with no way of escape, struck fear into my heart. However, I was so desperate to be healed that I forced myself to go.

I was counselled by a lady who prayed for me in a strange language which I thought was Hebrew, but she explained it was called ‘tongues.’ I surrendered my life to Jesus and asked him to forgive me for running away from him all these years. I experienced a miraculous healing and a wonderful sense of peace and joy, which has never left me.

I started going to church, where I joined a community care group, visiting the housebound. The first lady I visited was suffering from agoraphobia! I told her I knew exactly what she was going through, and prayed for her. Jesus healed her, and she gave her life to him. The next day she rang me to say she had gone for a long journey on the bus, and had felt no fear at all. This was the first time she had been out of the house for months.

I cannot guarantee that everyone who is prayed for will be healed, but one thing I can promise – Jesus will never ignore a cry from a searching heart. He says, ‘Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.’ (Revelation 3:20). If Jesus is knocking at the door of your heart, don’t tell him to go away, as I did. Say yes to Jesus. Invite him in! Rosy

Rosy is the secretary of The Healing Bus